Where Are You Christmas?

Where are you Christmas 

Why can't I find you 

Why have you gone away 

Where is the laughter 

You used to bring me 

Why can't I hear music play 

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too

This has been my attitude this season. For most of it I haven't been at home, my dorm, the hotel and the cabin weren't all decorated, and there hasn't even been that much snow, you know before Christmas day! I had finals in December instead of Madison's November. I don't even really have my old traditional hallmark Christmas movies, (or lovey-dovey mushy-mushy kissy-kissy movies that just happen to take place at Christmas time). I was away from family and I didn't have all the traditions. For a girl who is obsessed with Christmas, this year I was just not that into it.

I went to Forgotten Carols with my roommates and some of our friends, and the spirit there was simply magical. It reminded me of why I loved Christmas, the unity the fact that today, the whole world was united in celebrating, and yes while it all began with a precious baby in a humble stable, Christmas has grown to mean, happiness, selflessness, love, and giving. All things Jesus taught. I love how united everyone is in those emotions and actions this time of year. Like I said, Forgotten Carols reminded me of that. If you haven't seen it, I very much recommend it for next year. It reminds you of that love. After the carols though, I had to go back to studying for and taking finals.

One night during finals week my roommates went for a rive up to Bear Lake. The plan was to get up there before sunset and have a mini New Year's Eve, watch the sunset and just enjoy each other's company before the last final and we all leave for our homes and families. Well, we ended up getting a late start and sunset came and went during the drive. We got there and almost didn't know what to do, so we just parked on the side of the road. We sat on a blanket, and stared at the stars. Eventually we all ended up laying on top of each other. I saw my first few shooting starts. It was so quiet and peaceful. Beautiful and chill. The only noise was the occasionally passing car. Our laughter and eventually our singing. We sang little diddys, and Christmas carols. That reminded me of the beauty and peace of Christmas, and also the wonder of God's Creations.

This week my family spent the days before Christmas in a Cabin in Island Park. I love my family, and for the couple days we were just together. No phones, laptops, Netflix, or any other distractions. We played lots of games, went snowmobiling and just spent time with each other. Christmas was always magic because of my family, how well we get along with each other and the fun competition of our many favorite games and constant teasing. And yes, I got a concussion, and yes I'm all bruised up from crashing a snowmobile, but in the cabin with my family up on a snowy mountain, that was Christmas. 

Maybe I did lose Christmas for a little bit, but I found it again. Christmas is unity, its peace and beauty and it is family. It is collecting donations with Audge for Sub for Santa. It is shopping with my mom for presents for all my siblings. It is watching the joy on my nephew's face as he opens present after present with help from his parents. Christmas is magic, it's everywhere. it is in the small things!

If there is love in your heart and your mind

You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas

I know I've found you

You never fade away

The joy of Christmas

Stays here inside us

Fills each and every heart with love

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and I hope the Feelings lasts all year round!

I Can Do Hard Things.

It's Christmas time!  I love Christmas.  My family has always centered Christmas on family and Christ, but this year we were notified we wouldn't receive as many presents as we usually do, instead we would make memories. With my birthday in December too, normally I get twice the gifts, and this year I no longer get a family birthday, because my family will possibly be in 5 different places for my special day, and then nothing for Christmas, going from getting a lot last year to only one or two presents all of December this year.  Don't get me wrong, I am super excited for our new tradition of renting a cabin in Island Park for the December break, but it is a hard adjustment.  I thought especially that since all I really wanted was missionary stuff, I was justified in my wants.  I sound super shallow, I know, but changing family traditions, is hard.

Then Sunday in relief society we watched a little clip, a Mormon Message. I'm sure most of you have seen it, but if you haven't you definitely should! He is the Gift.  I know this message has struck lots of people in different ways this holiday season, but it hit me hard.  I really am okay.  I can wait for mission stuff till after I have my call, it is more practical then anyways.  And really I don't need anything that I don't have the means myself to buy.  Yes, it's fun to get presents, but headphones and church books aren't really that expensive.  Other people need things more than me.  It is more fun to by little girls a doll and little boys a race track, than to get a nineteen year old a missionary bag or new set of scriptures.  I can embrace our new holiday tradition and be okay with it. I can do hard things.

Also in Relief Society we were challenged to pick one thing over Christmas break to give up, start doing or accomplish to make us a better person.  I picked computer games, and gaming.  Yes, I know they aren't all bad, but when you get to the point I was at when you spend at least 3 hours a day swapping candy, rescuing pets, playing cards, or running a food truck all in a virtual world, I'd think we'd all agree it's gone too far.  I can do hard things. I can make it through the break by actually playing real games with people, writing in my journal (I'm lots behind), reading my scriptures, coming closer to Christ and actually talking to my friends and family.

There is one last hard thing I've accomplished this week.  I went for a run.  When I found out who my roommates were I Facebook stalked them, like any normal college student.  I was especially eager to find out about Cassidy, the one I would share a room with.  First impressions, she was super happy, loved yellow and wrote an amazing and uplifting blog, the only downside she ran.  She was on Cross County and ran a marathon over the summer, really it's fine because I had high school friends that did track and cross country, even family members did, but I don't run.  Ever.  I was worried that my roommate would get up and run every single morning and I'd feel more lazy than I already do.  Luckily Cassidy, while running occasionally, isn't that die hard about it.  A couple of my other roommates also occasionally run as well.  A couple times they invite me to go as well, and a week or two ago I almost did (I got in running clothes and everything) but then I sat in bed to charge my phone and didn't get back out.

Sunday night Kate, Tay and I stayed up late eating junk food, then for breakfast we had crepes and sparkling cider.  All day We had junk food and were kinda lazy.  I felt so sick.  They decided to to a quick ab work out that I joined them in, and then decided to do more. A run is what they suggested.  A quick two mile run to the temple and back.  I decided that if I was going to start running, a temple run was the way to begin.  I don't think they quite realized just how out of shape I was, and what they thought would be a quick 15- 20 minute run took more like half an hour.  When we got to the temple I confessed that outside of PE, which I hadn't taken since 8th grade this was like my second run ever.  It being final week, we said a roommate prayer together.  I felt the spirit as we gathered in a hug under the glow of the temple and asked our Heavenly Father for strength and comfort as we embarked on finals.  As we started back up the hill I begged my friends to leave me and actually get the workout they wanted.  They of course wouldn't.  It wan't until we got to Old Main Hill, that they took the stairs and I took the ramp.  I did it though. I ran or speed walked the whole thing.  I made it to the temple and back with my best friends at my side, cheering me on and encouraging me.

I made it! I always want to make it to the temple!
Photo Credit: Cassidy Gummersall

It reminded me of another walk I did to the temple.  Youth conference a couple years ago as we hiked and walked from "R 'Mountain'" to the Rexburg Temple.  We had prepared for that all day trek for months, walking more and eating healthy, but it was still hard for me.  The theme of the walk was "I can do hard things." I know that I can, I can do hard things.  Not by myself, but with my God and my Savior, and I can accomplish anything they would have me do.

This morning the same roommates and I made another trek to the temple.  We were dressed much differently, took a different mode of transportation, and got a different kind of wet.  As I sat in the temple with these three amazing girls by my side, I know that together we can do anything.  I look forward for each of us to get our mission calls, I can't wait to go to farewells, and then see how much we've changed at homecomings.  I eagerly await another trip to the temple, one where we go upstairs together. I can't wait until one by one we make sacred covenants and then one day we will each kneel across the alter and each get sealed to an amazing young man.  I am so blessed to have the roommates I have.  I know that we are blessed. We can do hard things, so Finals Week, bring it on!!!

We can do anything!
Photo Credit again goes to Cassidy Gummersall.

The Game of Risk

Starting the game. Yellow: Cass. Red: Tay. Green : Kate. Blue: Holly.

I've ALWAYS hated the game Risk! Why? I don't know, maybe because it's my brother's favorite! Maybe it is because it takes FOREVER! Maybe it's because I always loose! I mean even as a I started writing this yesterday, I was playing the dumb game and lost... (Freak-en Satan!) Or maybe it's just that I hate the idea of the whole world at war.

Yesterday I taught my first lesson ever in Relief Society! It was about Missionary Work and the Second Coming of our Savior Jesus Christ! They always say when you teach a lesson you learn more than if you just listen and participate, and I believe whole heartily that that is true. When you prepare or teach, you have to learn as much as you can about the subject and then only share the highlights. I learned so much about the peace of the gospel in preparing the lesson.

I know each sect, person and group has a ton of good in them, but I also know that as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I have access throughout my life to all the keys of eternity, and the opportunity to live with my loved ones forever and ever. This knowledge gives me peace. This is the peace of the gospel. This is the peace I want to share with my spiritual brothers and sisters throughout the world! I want to serve a mission so that others may live with their families forever as well. I believe in forever!

The game of Risk is about World  War Three. This is a war I know will happen. It has to! Before Christ comes again, there will be another world war. Ironically a lot of the fighting I at least did was in the areas that WWIII will be fought in: The Middle East and Jerusalem. In our game, as yellow (and no, for once I wasn't yellow, Cass loves yellow just like me) slowly took over the world I couldn't complain too much. (Ironically, as a side note, yellow also started in North America, home of Adamondiamin and the head quarters for the LDS church.) Yellow is happy! How happy will we be the whole world war is over when Christ comes again.

No I don't think at first we will be happy. As the world is baptized with fire, and some of our brothers and sisters who are unrighteous get taken with it, I think we'll feel lots of sorrow for them, but then when the smoke clears and the whole world is so good and righteous that Satan is bound as if by chains we will be as the people in 4th Nephi, when in verse 16 it says: "...surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God." What is the key to happiness? No contention. How do we achieve that? True peace and love. Where can we find peace and love? In the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I believe everything can be related to the gospel of Jesus Christ, mainly for the reason that our Savior and Heavenly Father created EVERYTHING.

So Risk. The name of the game is a gospel principle. We need to take good Risks. Risk the opportunity to talk to someone new about the gospel. Risk how people look at you to hold fast to your standards. Risk not getting your homework, or other stuff done to read the scriptures and talk to your Father. Life is about risks, but when you Risk something good for something even better, you will be blessed for it.

So while the game is still not my favorite, and I'm still not a big fan of wars, I look forward to the peace at the end of the battle. I enjoy playing games with my roommates so much, and even when we are battling over Asia and they won't even let my keep my stupid Europe, I enjoy the competitiveness, bet even more, I enjoy when its all over and I (second place) and Cass (first place), can stay up till after one laughing about stupid high school stories, even though a little over an hour before i was ticked she beat me.

Sometimes we have to take a Risk to get better, or endure a battle to have true happiness and peace.

My Indecisive Mind Speaks

I am indecisive.  Extremely indecisive.  I can't commit and I never know if what I've chosen is truly the right thing for me.  Should I write my final English paper on unfairly distributing scholarships to minorities first or on how Christmas has become too commercial, or on one of the 4 other ideas I have running around on my head.  (Feel free to comment your opinion.  I probably need it.)  I can't chose what to eat at meals, and I take forever getting ready because I don't know whether to wear this outfit or that one.  Even today as I'm writing this post should I go with choice one or two?  I can't choose one, and I don't think they'd be that easy to combine, so I'm possible gonna write a two part blog.  Maybe.

Part 1: Christmas Time!

Yes, It is the first of November and Yes, I do realize Christmas is just under two months away, but for a girl who thrives on the spirit of Christmas, two months just isn't enough!  "I need a little Christmas right this very minute!" is my motto all year round! 

I know, I've heard all the arguments, Christmas isn't as special if you celebrate it too early, all the songs sound the same, "what about Thanksgiving?".  Hear is my refute, how can the most angelic and special day of the year become less special. Christ came to this world, and died for us so that we could return to him again.  I know he was probably born in April, but this is the day to celebrate all he has given us.  And even though a lot of the world has forgotten what Christmas really means, I love the spirit of Christmas, the fact that people are wondering about what to get others (yes, maybe a bit too much), and that we as humans smile a little more.  I love that Christmas songs either make me cry or make me laugh and smile.  I love that towns light up and people just care about each other a little bit more during the Christmas season!  I love the Holidays, everything about them.  I love decorating my house, and I love spending time with my family.  I love wrapping presents and I love drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas shows, cuddled up on the couch. 

Christmas is my favorite.  So I won't apologize for celebrating the holiday all year round, especially because my name is Holly.  "I cry the day that I take the tree down, I want the season to last all year round..."  I wish we'd all act in the Christmas spirit more, even I could and should act better.  Celebrating early lets me remember to be a little nicer, smile a little wider and love a little more.

When I celebrate Christmas!

An Early Christmas Present for you!

Part 2: My Best Friends

I seriously believe that I live in the best place ever.  A fantastic beautiful city at the base of incredible mountains.  I live right on campus and I live with some of the most wonderful people in the world, and it shocks me that I haven't written about them yet.  So, while I love all my roommates, the people I have met here and my friends back home, I just want to touch on a few people in my life and what they mean to me.

First of all Cassidy.  Cass is incredible.  She's the reason I am even writing this blog because hers in incredible, (she is almost a English major, so her's is a lot better.)  She lives in my room, but on the other side, by the window.  She is totally chill and fun loving and I love talking to her.  She gives great advice.  We are either the exact same or polar opposites.  We were born in the same town (maybe the same hospital) and at the time our families both lived in another town, we both love yellow, and we got the same ACT score.  She's an English Major, and I'm in Engineering.  I love Christmas (see Part One) and she hates it.  Cass is an early bird, (usually) and I'm a night owl.  I have the BESTEST roommate on campus, possibly in the world.

Hannah.  Hannah has been my best friend for a couple years now and she is fabulous.  She just got home from Ecuador working at an orphanage.  She knows all my secrets and can make me laugh.  Hannah danced with me and she is super graceful and beautiful.  She's so kind and incredibly smart.  We get each other and have so many inside jokes.  She's the reason my car's name has a silent  number in it, (my car's name is Ber3nie).  Hannah is the first person I talk to about boys, things bugging me or my worries.  I love Hannah for all the support she has given me throughout the years, and I don't know where I would be without her.

Katie is crazy.  Well actually she is sparkly, and pink.  She lives right above me, like her bed is directly above me.  She's from Montana, but she is the opposite of a hick or red neck.  Katie is also a twin; her twin's name is Emma.  Katie and I get along great as we are both incredibly social, bright and happy.  We both love the idea of romance and love, and we both adore teenage dramas, like Pretty Little Liars, Vampire Diaries and more.  Katie is really smart and wants to combine graphic design and marketing, to design ads and such for companies, and she will be fabulous!  She is so creative and her favorite thing ever is sewing tutu's and other tule skirts.

Another of my roommates is Kate.  Kate is from Arizona, and she is so intelligent.  She is the sweetest and most motherly of my roommates.  She helps out with a special needs institute class which I completely admire her for.  Kate is constantly looking for new ways to help people, and the only time I've ever seen her truly upset was because she can't figure out what she wants to do.  Kate pushes herself, and hates it when she can't figure something out.  She is the kind of person who genuinely loves everyone.  I love the example Kate is to me.

I'm kinda all over, but jumping back home to Rexburg, Amiee.  I occasionally refer to Amiee as mini-me, but that isn't true at all, she is a thousand times more impressive than me.  I was yearbook editor, and this year Amiee is.  I want to be an electrical engineer, and she is thinking more mechanical.  I went to NASA camp, and so did she.  But Ames is incredible.  She is so positive and happy all the time.  she is silly and also incredibly graceful.  Amiee is an amazing photographer and designer, and she is so smart it isn't even funny.  Some people are only great at one or two subjects, math and science, or English, or History and Government, but Amiee is pro at them all.  I don't know yet, where she is planning on heading to for college, but where ever she goes, she will excel! Amiee is fabulous and I love her lots!

Back to roommates: Taylor.  Taylor is the funniest.  She is so silly and chill.  I love that things don't generally bug her and even when they do she just brushes it off.  Tay is also from Arizona, and her sisters are her best friends.  Tay cares so much for her family and misses them so much every day.  Out of her nine blogposts over a third of them directly talk about how much she misses her family.  She has the cutest smile and I love her so much.  She wants to be a pediatrician which is so perfect for her cause she's loving and so kind.  Tay is my angel and my entertainment.

Adam lives down the hall from us and he's probably my best guy friend right now.  He just got his mission call to Canada, and he'll be one of the best missionaries ever.  He set a goal to read all of the standard works before he leaves in February, which i think is super impressive and he's well on his way to meet that goal.  Adam wants to be a surgeon which is also super impressive, and something I could never do.  He's also extremely kind and entertaining.  Adam is also my brother away from my brothers, and by that i mean he teases me like my brothers do.  Him and I both did marching band in High school and went to at least a couple of the same competitions.  If that isn't coincidence enough, he also lives in my cousin's ward, which also happens to be Hannah's cousin's ward.  I'm gunna miss Adam lots next semester, and the Canadians are lucky to have him.

Audge is the last person I want to mention today.  Audrianna is her full name and she also is a roommate.  She's from Washington but recently moved to Logan, and she's sassy.  She is so assertive and isn't afraid to speak her mind.  That can sometimes be a bad thing, but not in Audge's case.  She is a powerful leader, but leads in a kind way.  It's funny, because when we all moved in she told us to call her Anna, then a couple days later decided she wants to be Audge instead.  She's the vice president of the LLC RHA council and she's incredible, always planning activities our designing posters.  Audge wants to be a psych professor when she grows up, and she will be incredible at it.  I love her and her spunk so very much.

There are other incredible people in my life, my family and some other friends, but these guys stand out in my life right now.  They are exactly what I need, and I'm so lucky to know each and every one of them.  I love my friends, each and every one, the ones i mentioned and those i didn't, basically, if you're reading this you probably mean a lot to me.

Tay and I!

Me, Cass, Tay and Kate!

Me and Amiee!

Wryn, Emma, Me, Kate, Katie and Faith.

My roommates (minus Faith and plus Karina): Top: Jess, Me, Kelci, Karina, Audge, Kate. Bottom: Cass and Tay

Libby, Anna, Emma, Me and Hannah!

Katie and I!

Part 3: (see i couldn't decide on just two) The Blessings of Being Indecisive

I think it is funny, because while I am extremely indecisive, the hardest decisions of my life have come easy to me.  I knew I was supposed to come here to USU.  I know I'm supposed to be an engineer, and I know I'm supposed to serve a mission!  These have been the easiest decisions to make, and since I'm so indecisive, the knowledge that these were so easy for me to make testifies to me that their right.  I mean look at how blessed I've been for coming to Logan, and all of the wonderful people I've met.  I know i will be blessed for following the Lord's guidance.

Again, sorry this post has been so long, but I couldn't decide on just one, but I probably could've written more about any of the three.  Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts.  Have a Merry Christmas season. :)

Change, College and the Characters in My Story!

Change. Isn't change a funny thing. One day, you suddenly look around and realize everything is different. Generally as humans we don't like change, but isn't that an irony? We live in a world where nothing stays the same, so it's contradictory to hope that we can live each day the same as the life before. Just like the weather and seasons change from day to day, people are variables too. It is nonsensical to expect someone to be and act the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. It's human nature to change; only God is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Yesterday I looked around and it struck me, I'm in college! Wow! In my mind I'm stuck in my sophomore year of high school: in good small Rexburg, starting to date, loving school (but not too much homework), couldn't do sports to save my life, tons of friends, and extremely awkward! :) I had a huge group of friends and we had parties every weekend and hung out all the time. Throughout high school my friend group slowly shrunk. The ones I remained close to became my world to me. I would vent to them, giggle about boys, laugh, do dumb things and just have fun. I loved life! High school was fun, I'll never say it wasn't! I made some fabulous friendships and I hope at least a couple of them last for life.

Me on a fun photo shoot sophomore year, perfect example of my awkwardness.

Now here I am: in Logan at USU, I am preparing myself for a mission, enjoying school (but working hard), fabulous roommates and friends and well... still awkward! I discovered today I am pretty good at ultimate Frisbee! I never thought I would ever be good at anything that involved running and throwing things! I live with 7 amazing girls, and other fabulous people live in my building and we do lots together. As fun and fabulous as high school was, college is 100 times better! I live with my friends, classes are what I actually want to learn about, and we are in charge of ourselves. I can go dance on the quad at midnight, or play Frisbee in the freezing cold, stay up late watching movies or walk to the other side of town on a whim.

My friend Katie and I in Aggie-colored tutu's hugging the legs of the Olsen Statue outside the Romney Stadium after Homecoming.

So I realized, I'm still am that sophomore girl. I still have the same favorite color and I'm still awkward and obnoxious. Above all else, I still have amazing friends. Some are the same, but most aren't actually. That's okay though, because the people I know now are the ones my life will forever change with. At least 6 of them will serve missions the same time I do so we can live together when we get back.  These are the friends that will be there when I meet my future husband and torture him lots. They will live near me when I have my first child. They will be there when my life completely changes, and I couldn't ask for better people to share these life experience with. 

As my life continues and I change some more, I am confident that where ever I go, there will be great friends, and my circle will only grow! Life continues and I can always find the friends I need, and I know that one day, I will find my best friend that I can spend eternity with! I will work hard to make sure to keep some of these friends now forever as well! 

Gather friends as you go through your life's journey!

Our life is our story; we control how we change, and we control how we adjust to the changes! We write it and we decide! So make good choices and change for the better. I did, and am trying to.

My Future Husband

A couple weeks ago in Relief Society (the women's organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) we had a lesson on eternal marriage. Part of what we talked about was the fact that even though most of the girls in my ward are freshman we still need to be thinking about when in a couple years we are to the age we might get married. We need to thing about what we want in a husband, but we also need to prepare ourselves for him. If we're not confident in ourselves there is no way we'll be confident in a marriage. A couple people who have been married told me that they are continually working on that fact. They are trying to get past the insecurities they had before marrying their husband. Marriage, even eternal marriage, isn't a cure all. So I'm working on preparing myself for finding him, because deep down, I believe that I haven't met him yet.

Then in General Conference this weekend, someone mentioned something about preparing and praying to find our future spouse and being ready to meet them and deserving of them.

So here is what I want in a husband, or at least the key points:

1) Holds and Honors the Priesthood

Me in front of the Phoenix, Arizona Temple.

The priesthood power is God's power. He gives his worthy son's the authority to use his power in his name. This is the power that created the Earth, parted the Red Sea, healed the blind in Jerusalem and multiplied the loaves and fishes. In modern times, this power was used to translate the Book of Mormon, dedicate temples, church houses and many other buildings and landmarks, and comfort and heal people. 

My husband will be able to give me priesthood blessings. That is a wonder I have grown up with and will not give up. If he is worthy to hold the priesthood, he will also be worthy to take me to an LDS temple where I can be married and sealed to him for time and all eternity, in this life and in the next. And if he can do both, then that means he has a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

The priesthood however doesn't mean that men are more righteous or more favored than women. Even though women can't hold the priesthood, we are given other blessings and responsibilities. To gain the fullness of my blessings, I must also be worthy to enter the Lord's temples, and have a full testimony of the Church's teachings. For either of us to get all of the blessings we have to work together as a couple. So I am working to gain my testimony, so I can do my part to work towards our eternal marriage.

The day a guy uses his priesthood over me, to say he knows better than me, to receive revelation for me I haven't received for myself, or to say that he is more blessed than I am, is the day I know he is not the one for me. I know my heavenly father loves me, and I know he loves all his children equally, no matter there sex, race, age, religion or choices they have made.

2) Fun to be Around

My good friend Libby and I hiding in a box eating cotton candy and just being silly.

I have to be comfortable with my husband, I want him to be my best friend. I have to be able to tell him anything and everything, and feel like he is reciprocating and being honest with me. But at the same time, I don't want him to be too serious. He has to be able to laugh, and smile, and make me laugh and smile, even on the bad days. I want him to be flirty, and tease me but not too much and love me more than anything. He has to be willing to do the things I want to do, like cuddle on the couch and watch chick flicks or dance to country music. He should have a love for music.

This is a much harder thing to prepare yourself for, but I'm trying to let things go and not be so uptight. I love to laugh and try to find something to laugh or smile about when I'm upset or having a bad day. I'm also trying to try new things, so I'm ready to try out the things that he likes to do.

3) Strong Work Ethic

My acceptance letter to USU!

I want the guy I marry to be able to provide for my family, so I don't have to work if I don't want to while I'm raising kids, or that I could only work part time. I want him to be able to wash dishes and cook along side me, instead of just lying on the couch watching t.v. and I want him to enjoy his work, but look forward to coming home every night so he can get things done on time and not be later than necessary. I want him to be smart so I can have intelligent conversations with him, and I want him to have good goals in life and work and the church.

I'm preparing myself for him by gaining my education, so when hard times come or when I need to I can work and gain an income as well. i'm trying to be focused with my goals and work to improve myself everyday. 

4) Family Man

My "little" brother Justin and I. This picture pretty much sums up our relationship.

Like I said before I want him to be able to help out around the house, but he also has to be good with our kids. Change diapers, attend tea parties, and have tickle tackle fights would all be part of the dad description. Besides our future family though, he has to love and be a part of his family now. I want him to treat his mom like she's his queen, and me like I'm his princess. I also want him to be a part of my family, I want him to care about my siblings and I want my parents to like him.

I love the fact that I am so close to my family and I can talk to them about anything. I can't wait to add to my family by marrying into one! I hope that I get along with all of his family as well. I'm also preparing to raise my kids and keep my home a house of love.


I'm working hard to be worthy of him, and hope and pray everyday that he is doing the same for me. I can't wait to meet you, who ever you are. My future husband! 

I want to be a missionary!

      I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also know as the Mormons. In our church the young men (aged 18+) are asked to leave their friends families and comforts of their homes for 2 years and share the joy of the restored gospel and the love of our savior Jesus Christ to our brothers and sisters around the world. Young women (aged 19+) can also have the opportunity to serve a full time mission for a period of 18 months. 

Some of my cousins and I in Phoenix after the cousin leaving on her mission spoke in Church.
Photo Credit to my Aunt Natalie.

     This weekend my cousin gave a talk in church and she will depart on her mission tomorrow. This now makes five of my cousins serving full time missions. They are serving in South Africa, California, Washington State, Ohio, and Chicago (although she is going to Mexico first to the Spanish Missionary Training Center). On both sides I am suspected and encouraged to be the next one out on a mission, and if not the next one, then one of the next couple, and I am so excited!

     I know I am meant to be a missionary. I have received confirmation of this fact multiple times and in multiple ways, and lately I've been wondering why? Why am I supposed to be a missionary, and what exactly makes a good missionary?

     Music always speaks to me, an two song in particular touch me when it comes to missionaries. Hymn 249, Called to Serve and Page 169 in the Children's Songbook, I Hope They Call Me on a Mission.

"Called to serve Him, heav'nly King of glory,

Chosen e'er to witness for his name,

Far and wide we tell the Father's story,

Far and wide his love proclaim.

"Onward, ever onward, as we glory in his name;

Onward, ever onward, as we glory in his name;

Forward, pressing forward, as a triumph song we sing.

God our strength will be; press forward ever,

Called to serve our King.

"Called to know the richness of his blessing--

Sons and daughters, children of a King--

Glad of heart, his holy name confessing,

Praises unto him we bring."

     I know I am a daughter of my Heavenly father and his love for me has helped me through so much. His love for me gives me hope to move on through trials and adds to my joy everyday of my life. I have a testimony and a love for this truth and the truth that I can and will live with my family forever. One of my deepest desires and hopes is that I can help bring this fact to my brothers and sisters of the world who do not have a knowledge of the joy of the eternities.

"I hope they call me on a mission

When I have grown a foot or two.

I hope by then I will be ready

To teach and preach and work as missionaries do.

"I hope that I can share the gospel

With those who want to know the truth.

I want to be a missionary

And serve and help the Lord while I am in my youth."

     I taught 4 year-olds at church for 6 months and my love for the children's hymns rekindled, so while I may not be growing a foot of two before I leave on my mission, I hope they call me. I hope I'm ready and I hope that people will be ready for me to talk to them. I am so greatful for the opportunity to give a year and a half of my life to strengthen my testimony and help plant and water the testimonies of others from all around the world. 

     People always ask me if I know where I want to go, and honestly I don't. The lord is no respecter of persons. He loves all of his children equally and I know he will call me to where ever I am best able to serve his sons and daughters. I have seen this as my brother and other missionaries have come home and shared stories about how much they love the people they helped and served with and how they know that where ever they went was in fact the perfect place for them. I know where ever I get called will be the perfect place for me.

     Many stones and rocks have been thrown in my way, but I am on the path to serve a mission. I have a testimony of this restored gospel and of my Heavenly Father and Savior's love for me. I am a Mormon, I know it, I love it and I live it!

The Wonders of a Smile

I wrote the following essay for my English 2010 class, I wanted to share it with everyone:

"We all know her or sometimes him. The girl or boy that everyone loves, who can brighten anyone’s day. They never cry; they never appear hurt or sad in anyway. Simply put, they are good at smiling. Can I tell you a secret though, they weren’t always happy. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where they didn’t have a care in the world, but most of the time the smiles are because it is all they can do to keep from falling apart. No one’s life is perfect, including theirs, but he or she doesn't let it stop them. To them, their problems are personal and they don’t need to burden others with them. Instead he or she has decided to try to relieve others of their burdens and troubles. When they ask questions such as “how are you?” they really care. Somewhere in all of this caring and being concerned for others, he or she found that all of their concerns were lessened.

"How do I know all of this? I am that person. Well to me I’m not. I do my fair share of crying and have had more than enough bad days. I don’t always feel happy, and I rarely feel like people go out of their way just to say hi to me. That person is in my life, but I don’t feel like I can fill her shoes. Throughout high school that girl, in my case that person was female, and many others thanked me for my positive attitude and constant smile, traits I don’t remember possessing. I do remember trying to be happy, and I do remember listening as others vented to me about their bad days. I remember my smile sometimes making me happier, but I remember the smiles of others helping as well. Somewhere along the line however, I became that girl-- the one that people gravitated to when they needed a piece of sunshine.

"I believe in optimism, and even beyond that, I believe when the world is falling apart around you, you can and should find something to be happy about. In the midst of an earthquake where the whole world it seems is crashing down, hold fast to that lamp post, a pillar of light, holding steady in the chaos. For myself, that light usually comes in the form of sweet caring and supportive friends, or in the glowing smile of that girl.

"In high school, we'll say her name was Alli, she cared about everyone. Our senior year Alli became student body president, not because everyone thought she was cute or funny, though she was both, but because everyone knew she generally loved and cared for everyone she met. Everyday she would meet someone new and strike a conversation with them. The next day or several days later she was able to again converse with them about things they had told her. Alli had a knack for making everyone's day better, even if they just passed her in the hallway. Surprisingly to me, on more than one occasion she thanked me for my smile.

"Most of the time something as simple as a smile or a sincere greeting can turn a day around. The reason behind the smile varies though. Sometimes my smile symbolizes sincere happiness, while other times I smile because it is all I can do to hold myself together. If I stop smiling, I cry. It is these days that a smile from someone else becomes my light post, steady through the tremor. These days make me want to smile for others.

"I believe in smiling; I believe in optimism. I believe anyone can become that person, the one who can turn anyone’s day around for the better, all it takes is a smile. A smile is a powerful tool, one that can lighten your spirits, along with those of who knows how many others. This I believe."

The past couple weeks have not been easy at all for me. I feel like my emotions decided to take a roller coaster ride and it's been quite hard. Despite it all, I know when I put a smile on my face, I become happier, and when I don't dwell on my problems they seem to lessen.

"It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small." This weekend I'm in Arizona for my cousin, Courtney's mission farewell, and that step away from my problems made them seem silly. My mom told my aunts, uncles and my grandma about one thing bugging me, and they all started laughing and said, ot that's funny. Not in a hurtful way, but it made me realize, maybe it is a little silly and I shouldn't be worring as much about it as I am. So I joined them and Laughed.

To end my blog today I just want to quote one of my favorite scriptures, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Proverbs 17:22.

Some Water and Sugar to go with your Lemons?

So I was going to write about Yellow and Holidays and kinda why I named my blog this, especially since I'm really new at this whole blogging thing, but, I decided to write something different. This has been on my mind the last couple days.

"Everything happens for a reason." My roommate reminded me of this the other day, and I agree that it does. In the moment we might not see it, but take a step back, or wait a while and the purpose of an event can become clear as glass.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." "You can only grow from this." "My trials make me a better person." How often do we hear these sayings? Yes, they may have become overused, but what isn't now a days, in a world that has existed for thousands of years and been home to billions of people, it's hard to have an idea that is purely your own, but the things that are over used are so, because they work, they are real. That is definitely a purpose behind each event in our life, because if you chose to you can grow from anything and everything.

Sometimes in life, disappointments can give you hope. Anger can give you determination. A spark can give you hope of a fire. Care can give you strength and reasoning often leads to pure understanding and respect. Hey, in the past week alone I've felt all of them.

Again, a cliche, but life hands you lemons. Bad things will happen to everyone, whether they be old young, rich, poor, introverted, outgoing, optimistic or pessimistic. Bad things happen, but I am a fond believer that the ultimate decision of what to do with the lemons is up to you. You can toss them back (but from my experience, it is hard to through trials and changes back at life), you can take them as is (but then that gets sour), or you can make them into something sweet, like lemonade. Yes, you have to provide your own sugar and water, but it is possible.

My sugar is optimism and determination. Knowing that I can and will get through this alright, and having the perseverance to take whatever life throws at me, and come out on top, as a better person. The water for me, is the tears I shed over the change, the talking and thinking it out. Actually discovering how I feel and where I want to go from this. Talking it out with those I am close to, currently includes my family, roommates, friends from home and my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. And then I take what they tell me to mind as well, cause they all have advice. Ultimately though the decision is mine and mine alone.

With out the right amount of sugar and water, no lemonade will turn out alright, so the important part is to deal with the problem, face the issue, but don't give it too much time or thought. Know when it is time to stop. Each case is different. Lemons are different sizes and life hands you several all at once. it takes practice to understand the recipe, and I'm not claiming I know it yet. I know what lemonade tastes like though, I know how I want to feel when it is all over, and I understand that there is a recipe. This is a good start.

Lemons are all around us, but life throws them at us for a reason. A good batch of lemonade does a soul good. So when you do get some citrus to the face, don't forget, with a little water and sugar, you have an amazing treat on your hands! :)

A Little Introduction

Hello, My name is Holly, and I love yellow. Some people like yellow, or think they love yellow, but I really do. This is how I often start introducing myself, so I guess it was a proper way to start on here. I am a student at Utah State, and I've been here for about three weeks now. High school and home, to college and independence has not been the easiest transition, but there are some people who helped me out a ton. My roommates and family were a big part of it and I'll probably write about them all you'll get sick of it.

My roommates are the reason I'm writing today. See it all started with Cass, who has been writing a blog for a couple months. When we all found out we were roommates and stalked each other on Facebook, we all pretty much fell in love with her blog, A Special Occasion. As we were all talking about it the other day Tay (times with taylor), Kate (Happy Days with Kate) and Jess (Raes on the Water) all decided to start/revive their blogs. My other roommates were thinking about it too. I'm not sure why exactly. Maybe it was how amazing Cass's was, or maybe it was just to give us a place to talk on and on about what ever we wanted with out feeling bad about posting really long status' on Facebook. I know for me, it was probably the latter, here is my post from a few minutes ago:


"So I have amazing roommates! (as I've posted before.) and about half of them write or are starting blogs. Jessica Christensen posted something on hers that hit me hard. I think it can all be summed up with the picture she posted "Here's the truth about big life changes: Some people won't come with you. And that's okay." While it has been so hard to be away from the friends that struggled through high school with me (Amiee, Hannah,Spencer, Anna, Libby, Emma, and MANY more) I know I am right Where I am supposed to be. My Heavenly Father has strengthened me and made this change easier, and while I still love my hometown friends, I feel like I've known my roommates for forever. So who knows, maybe I'll follow in their footsteps and write a blog. But for now, I just need to thank Cassidy, Taylor, Katelin, Jess, and Audge for instantly loving me, going everywhere with me and becoming my instant best friends! I love all you guys, in Rexburg, Logan, Ecuador, and where ever else you may be!"

Yeah, this is probably a better medium for that sort of stuff. (That post is referring to Jess's blog above). So maybe this is just a place for me to rant and rant about what I believe, and my thoughts and feelings. In English we're currently writing essays about what we believe, and it got me really passionate and excited.

Just be warned, I am no English major. I hate English and usually I'm no good at it. If this bugs you, just stop reading. I won't be offended and probably I won't even know.

So that's me, or at least what I'll tell you for now.

Have a fantastic day.