California Here I Come!

Last time I wrote, it was about a Large White Envelope. I opened it that weekend... I went home and had a lot of my close friends and family that could come over. Everyone one guessed, and a couple people got really close and guessed the missions right next door, but no one got it exactly right. I am going to the:

California Carlsbad Mission.

My heart now belongs to warm and sunny SoCal! It is honestly quite perfect for me, and I know that is where the Lord wants me, because I'm not doing this for my family, for myself, or even for the people in California. I'm leaving my life for Him, because he gave his life for me.

But this call is bittersweet. See, I talk a lot about my roommates, but that is because they instantly became my best friends! From the first time we emailed after finding out our roommates, I knew these girls were wonderful. We became the kind of friends that could tell each other anything, and I mean anything! These girls were the reason I didn't get a lot of sleep some nights and the focus of a lot of my memories. These are the girls who I became an adult with, who bonded as we were forced to face the real world by ourselves!

But in just a few short months, Kate will be in Spain, Cass in Ecuador, me in California, Tay in Argentina, and Hailey here in Utah! I've only been apart from my best friends for two LONG weeks, but I already feel so alone. I know my companions will become close, and in two years we'll be back together. I guess I just hate saying goodbye.

I also have friends in Rexburg I don't want to say goodbye to, and this isn't even the half of them. These friends I know it will be hard for me to see a lot, even on my return, which made it almost even harder to say goodbye. These are the girls I've grown up with! My friends for up to 10 long years.My friends that were there for braces, girls camp, boys..., first date, graduation, all my teenage experiences.

There is also the hardest goodbye, aside from my roommates, my friends, my hair, my home, I also have to say goodbye to my family. In 59 days I'll say goodbye to my two brothers, my sister and my brother-in-law, my parents and to the most adorable 16-month-old little boy. They are the ones who have supported me my whole entire life! And will support me for the rest of it.

I know I'm a little bit early in all of these goodbyes, I don't leave for two months (minus two days), but being away from all of these amazing people makes me realize how much I'm going to miss them all!

But what am I gaining? I'm gaining an adventure in the most amazing place in the world! (I mean it's got Legoland! What more could you want?) I'm going to have the most amazing experience ever! Hard, but worth it! Carlsbad is warm and gorgeous! I am so lucky to serve the lord, who I love so much in such a beautiful place in my native language.

So while I won't be a Hermana, a Sœur or an Imōto, I will be a Sister, Sister Palmer! And I will be exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing!

What is the point of all of this? Well, you know the saying that a missionary is someone who leaves their family for a short time so that others can be with theirs for eternity? I guess all the best things in life require a little bit of sacrifice. With all the goodbyes I'm saying, I'm setting myself up for some wonderful hellos! And I can't wait! I know that this is what I'm supposed to be doing! I know a mission is right for me! Now it is just a matter of preparing.

California here I come! :)

The Large White Envelope

Ok, So it has been a while, a long while, lets just say the post about 10 things to get you through a tough week, yeah I really needed that one. And its not over yet, but three weeks from right now I will be done with all my finals and take that load off. I should probably be doing a million things right now, but lets face it, with what just happened, I probably won't accomplish much any way!

And what did just happen? Nothing too amazing or impressive. I checked the mail, and I had mail. Well, let me rephrase that, I got a letter. Just one. And I already know that inside it is a piece of paper and a booklet. So why is it such a big deal? Because this letter decides the rest of my life in a way. Forever after this I will be able to say, I spent a year and a half in _____. Or I served my mission _____. It decides when I start school up again after my mission, which changes whether I graduate spring or fall. It changes a lot. This one envelope contains a few key pieces of information I need to know to plan the logistics of the next few years. Where I'm going, when I'm leaving, if I learn a new language, what M.T.C. and who my mission parents will be.

It is here for real this time!

It is voluntary, I actually pay for everything. I take a leave of absence from school for at least the 18 months. I will only call home twice a year, and three times total over the course of my mission. I can only email my parents, friends and family for around an hour once a week. I will work hard, and walk lots everyday. It is work. I will probably get rejected and turned away more times than I can count, maybe even that many times in a month.

So why am I so excited to put my life on hold to go to who knows where and have lots of hardship and loneliness? Because I know HE did it for me. He walked the road less traveled, He was reject, betrayed and He was killed. But He loves me and each of us so much, that He would have done it for just one of us. Because HE lives, I'm serving a mission.

I am spending the next year and a half of my life, trying so hard to get my brothers and sisters of the world to remember that. They know that their Heavenly Father, and elder brother Jesus Christ love them, or at least they did once. It is my job to remind them. To remind them that families are designed to be forever! Not just till death do us part, but for time and all eternity. That is God's plan. To me it is scary to think that this all, the whole world happened by accident, but it is comforting to think that a loving God designed it all. God knows each and everyone of us, and He loves us despite the fact that each and every day we are imperfect. He has created a plan for us to return, a plan where we had to fall away, and Jesus had to atone for us. All this so we could choose him, and come back and live in forever families.

I have been called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And I already know I love the people of my mission so much, because they are my brothers and sisters. Where I am called is the place I know I can do the most good, and I can be blessed the most. Where I am called I will forever love and think is the best place ever. Where I am called is written in the large white envelope, and I know it is where I'm supposed to be.

The Game of Risk

Starting the game. Yellow: Cass. Red: Tay. Green : Kate. Blue: Holly.

I've ALWAYS hated the game Risk! Why? I don't know, maybe because it's my brother's favorite! Maybe it is because it takes FOREVER! Maybe it's because I always loose! I mean even as a I started writing this yesterday, I was playing the dumb game and lost... (Freak-en Satan!) Or maybe it's just that I hate the idea of the whole world at war.

Yesterday I taught my first lesson ever in Relief Society! It was about Missionary Work and the Second Coming of our Savior Jesus Christ! They always say when you teach a lesson you learn more than if you just listen and participate, and I believe whole heartily that that is true. When you prepare or teach, you have to learn as much as you can about the subject and then only share the highlights. I learned so much about the peace of the gospel in preparing the lesson.

I know each sect, person and group has a ton of good in them, but I also know that as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I have access throughout my life to all the keys of eternity, and the opportunity to live with my loved ones forever and ever. This knowledge gives me peace. This is the peace of the gospel. This is the peace I want to share with my spiritual brothers and sisters throughout the world! I want to serve a mission so that others may live with their families forever as well. I believe in forever!

The game of Risk is about World  War Three. This is a war I know will happen. It has to! Before Christ comes again, there will be another world war. Ironically a lot of the fighting I at least did was in the areas that WWIII will be fought in: The Middle East and Jerusalem. In our game, as yellow (and no, for once I wasn't yellow, Cass loves yellow just like me) slowly took over the world I couldn't complain too much. (Ironically, as a side note, yellow also started in North America, home of Adamondiamin and the head quarters for the LDS church.) Yellow is happy! How happy will we be the whole world war is over when Christ comes again.

No I don't think at first we will be happy. As the world is baptized with fire, and some of our brothers and sisters who are unrighteous get taken with it, I think we'll feel lots of sorrow for them, but then when the smoke clears and the whole world is so good and righteous that Satan is bound as if by chains we will be as the people in 4th Nephi, when in verse 16 it says: "...surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God." What is the key to happiness? No contention. How do we achieve that? True peace and love. Where can we find peace and love? In the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I believe everything can be related to the gospel of Jesus Christ, mainly for the reason that our Savior and Heavenly Father created EVERYTHING.

So Risk. The name of the game is a gospel principle. We need to take good Risks. Risk the opportunity to talk to someone new about the gospel. Risk how people look at you to hold fast to your standards. Risk not getting your homework, or other stuff done to read the scriptures and talk to your Father. Life is about risks, but when you Risk something good for something even better, you will be blessed for it.

So while the game is still not my favorite, and I'm still not a big fan of wars, I look forward to the peace at the end of the battle. I enjoy playing games with my roommates so much, and even when we are battling over Asia and they won't even let my keep my stupid Europe, I enjoy the competitiveness, bet even more, I enjoy when its all over and I (second place) and Cass (first place), can stay up till after one laughing about stupid high school stories, even though a little over an hour before i was ticked she beat me.

Sometimes we have to take a Risk to get better, or endure a battle to have true happiness and peace.

I want to be a missionary!

      I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also know as the Mormons. In our church the young men (aged 18+) are asked to leave their friends families and comforts of their homes for 2 years and share the joy of the restored gospel and the love of our savior Jesus Christ to our brothers and sisters around the world. Young women (aged 19+) can also have the opportunity to serve a full time mission for a period of 18 months. 

Some of my cousins and I in Phoenix after the cousin leaving on her mission spoke in Church.
Photo Credit to my Aunt Natalie.

     This weekend my cousin gave a talk in church and she will depart on her mission tomorrow. This now makes five of my cousins serving full time missions. They are serving in South Africa, California, Washington State, Ohio, and Chicago (although she is going to Mexico first to the Spanish Missionary Training Center). On both sides I am suspected and encouraged to be the next one out on a mission, and if not the next one, then one of the next couple, and I am so excited!

     I know I am meant to be a missionary. I have received confirmation of this fact multiple times and in multiple ways, and lately I've been wondering why? Why am I supposed to be a missionary, and what exactly makes a good missionary?

     Music always speaks to me, an two song in particular touch me when it comes to missionaries. Hymn 249, Called to Serve and Page 169 in the Children's Songbook, I Hope They Call Me on a Mission.

"Called to serve Him, heav'nly King of glory,

Chosen e'er to witness for his name,

Far and wide we tell the Father's story,

Far and wide his love proclaim.

"Onward, ever onward, as we glory in his name;

Onward, ever onward, as we glory in his name;

Forward, pressing forward, as a triumph song we sing.

God our strength will be; press forward ever,

Called to serve our King.

"Called to know the richness of his blessing--

Sons and daughters, children of a King--

Glad of heart, his holy name confessing,

Praises unto him we bring."

     I know I am a daughter of my Heavenly father and his love for me has helped me through so much. His love for me gives me hope to move on through trials and adds to my joy everyday of my life. I have a testimony and a love for this truth and the truth that I can and will live with my family forever. One of my deepest desires and hopes is that I can help bring this fact to my brothers and sisters of the world who do not have a knowledge of the joy of the eternities.

"I hope they call me on a mission

When I have grown a foot or two.

I hope by then I will be ready

To teach and preach and work as missionaries do.

"I hope that I can share the gospel

With those who want to know the truth.

I want to be a missionary

And serve and help the Lord while I am in my youth."

     I taught 4 year-olds at church for 6 months and my love for the children's hymns rekindled, so while I may not be growing a foot of two before I leave on my mission, I hope they call me. I hope I'm ready and I hope that people will be ready for me to talk to them. I am so greatful for the opportunity to give a year and a half of my life to strengthen my testimony and help plant and water the testimonies of others from all around the world. 

     People always ask me if I know where I want to go, and honestly I don't. The lord is no respecter of persons. He loves all of his children equally and I know he will call me to where ever I am best able to serve his sons and daughters. I have seen this as my brother and other missionaries have come home and shared stories about how much they love the people they helped and served with and how they know that where ever they went was in fact the perfect place for them. I know where ever I get called will be the perfect place for me.

     Many stones and rocks have been thrown in my way, but I am on the path to serve a mission. I have a testimony of this restored gospel and of my Heavenly Father and Savior's love for me. I am a Mormon, I know it, I love it and I live it!