Small and Simple Miracles

"Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works." Alma 37:41

Wow! Two weeks ago I realized just how strong my testimony was, and in the last two weeks I have seen so many blessings from it. The gospel of Jesus Christ makes me so happy! Today in Relief Society (one of the most amazing organizations in the whole entire world! If you are female, 18 or older and not going, I suggest you start! It will better your life!) we talked about recognizing the spirit. Our teacher started off the lesson by having us all talk to our neighbor about a "mini-miracle" we had seen in the past week, a trait we have we're confident in and something that made us smile in the last week. For the second two I always answered I'm confident in my testimony (see my last blog post) and what made me smile was my friends and roommates, as they always make me laugh, and I'd share one story or another. For the miracle though, I thought of one, and then as others shared theirs with me I thought of more kind of like theirs! So here are my miracles, not to tell you how amazing my life (especially the last couple weeks) is, and not to copy Tay (who posted a blog post very similar just about an hour before I started this one; the lesson must have been really good for us both to have the same thoughts!) but so you guys reading this can recognize the different ways the lord works, and notice the miracles in your life. Now lets see if I can remember them all (I bolded the miracle so you don't have to read them all):

1. First miracle: Binary. :) You are now thinking I am the biggest nerd ever, (yeah, you're probably right. The end). But seriously. Starting this semester I was so worried  about my digital circuits class because I had no idea what to expect. Either the first or second day of the class she gave us reading and it was on binary. I dreaded it, and as I started reading I was so lost and bored, but then it clicked. Now the class I dreaded the most is my favorite, and on a side note the two classes I was the most excited for I don't like.
2. This as been the most amazing January ever. There is like no snow on the ground and it has stayed well above 30 during most days! Warm winter in Logan! :)
3. Oh and along those same lines, the inversion has stayed away! In version is basically really thick fog that lasts for days. I love being able to see the temple and the mountains. Those are what make Logan really beautiful!
4. I am an Undergraduate Research Fellow (URF). That means I get a scholarship to do research starting freshman year. In most fields freshman don't do a lot with research, and if they do it is feeding the animals, taking data/measurements, sweeping and cleaning the beakers, etc. I like encryption. There is not much for a freshman to do in encryption because we don't know all the math/science/computer science we need to yet. I was having tough luck finding a spot. A couple weeks ago I emailed two professors, one over the URFs and the other my last attempt at finding research I was interested in helping out in. My meetings with both professors eventually fell on the same day half an hour apart. the first was URF. I basically told him I couldn't find a spot and I needed to defer until after my mission when I would have more experience, then I went to the second one and it was a perfect match. He said he wanted to see what the results of his idea would be but it was a simple enough idea that even a freshman could help with it, and it was in exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life! He still has to approve the project but cross your fingers and say a prayer for me that it'll work out!
5. I have the craziest roommates ever and last weekend I spent a whole half hour listening to Tay talk without taking a break. She is the most hilarious person I have met! She is so kind and loving and has a glowing testimony, but that night I needed the laugh and boy did she deliver. I heard her whole life story and the whole time I'm sitting there thinking, I could never be as spontaneous and funny as Tay! She is our entertainment in C101!
6. My schedule this semester is crazy. I have pretty much back to back classes from 8:30 or 9:30 to 2:00, 4:30 or 6:00. and MWF are when all my engineering classes are (digital circuits, linear algebra, mission prep (okay, not really engineering), computer science, and on Wednesdays my Circuits Lab). Wednesday I had homework due in every class but one (and no that one was not mission prep). And the other class the assignment was due Monday after our big roommate sleepover. But I got it all turned in and the only thing I missed was sleeping in and being lazy Monday morning!
7. Speaking of homework, I was super stressed about my math homework because I didn't exactly have my math book yet. You see I though I had gotten a good deal and ordered the wrong thing. The book store was all out and if I ordered a new one online it wouldn't be here until next month. The professor kinda posted the assignment late and so I couldn't really borrow someone in my classes and the library didn't have one. I did order one online just so I'd have it for the next assignment, but I was in a pickle. Monday I get a text from someone I had emailed a week ago. They asked me if I still wanted the book. I said yes very much. I was able to cancel my order online because of the holiday weekend and turn in my assignment complete and on time!
8. Thursday night my five roommates and I get a text from our RA: "...I totally forgot to mention that we're probably getting a new roommate tomorrow..." We have had two empty beds in our dorm since the end of last semester and had speculated when/if we would get a new roommate. If the spots did get filled we also wondered what she would be like. not to mention the five of us are really tight and we didn't want the new girl to come in and feel let out or be awkward about it. Needless to say we were a tad worried, but honestly we had no need to be. Hailey is amazing and fits in with the rest of us like she's been here all along. I can't wait to get to know her better over the coming semester!
9. Friday night! Some of the girls from the second floor had a party and we ate dinner, played games, talked, ate LOTS of candy and watched both Despicable Me's in out PJ's! It was a ton of fun! When the second show was over we all decided we were tired and called it a night. Then when we got to our room and into bed we all decided we caught our second wing and stayed up for another hour talking and getting to know Hailey better. Lots of fun!
10. On Saturday, Cass's dad took us all out for dinner and swimming at the hotel he was staying at. It was so much fun! We played keep away in the pool and it was more fun than I had had in a while, especially in a pool! It was fun to just let go and procrastinate homework.
11. Today has been a day of miracles. Let me start with Sunday school. Our ward now has three Sunday School classes and Cassidy gets to teach two weeks a month. Because of farewells and the increase in classes gospel principles was pretty empty this week. In fact when all is said and done it was Cass who was teaching, the other four of us roommates, and Katie who is practically a roommate anyway. It was really great just having a small class, and Cass is a great teacher. She is an amazing person over all actually she's been such an example to me since I've met her.
12. Two eternal truths that spoke to me from Sunday school. We learned about the creation and emphasized on the fact that all things denote there is a God, and since God is light, as his children we are light too. The earth is perfect, self-mending and beautiful. It couldn't have just became that way, it had to have been created. I know that one day we can be kings and queens of our own kingdom and be the light to our heavenly children.
13. Relief society we had the lesson on mini miracles which has brought all these events to my mind.
14. As I walked out of Church today I had a big smile on, I realized that church is the only high I need in my life, because it makes me happier than I ever could be with anything else. I also realized that I have gotten more out of it in like the last two months than I ever had before! The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is completely true and totally amazing!.
15. Today I made homemade dinner for my roomies and I: three cheese, quick lasagna. Homemade food is a miracle for a college student. The end. No but really I love cooking and my roommates seemed to like it too! (at least no one died!)
16. We had a valley wide institute devotional today, and our guest apostle was Quentin L. Cook. He spoke on choice and choosing the best of the things that truly mater first. It was such a blessing to hear from an apostle of the Lord.
17. The day's I read my scriptures I'm happy the day's I don't I'm not. And if I go I day or two with out reading I'm less likely to read the next day. Personal scripture study is amazing.and i'm so glad I read today! I found the gem I started my blog with and a couple other amazing scriptures that spoke right to my heart.
18. I'm amazing at procrastinating homework, and I'm trying hard to keep the sabbath day more holy, (and before someone says "Kitchen Scrabble" Just know it's a work in progress. So we stayed up till about 11 watching a movie, then I ate food and read my scriptures for an hour so I could work on a homework assignment due tomorrow at one. (again I have classes tomorrow from 9:30-2). I was prepared for a long night. I start working on it and then start playing the game. What if I only get 50%,60%, 70%. While I'm doing this I see an announcement online that it is postponed until Wednesday! I worked on it a little bit then called it good.

Now again, while I want to share my what I'm doing and my thoughts and feelings with you, I don't share these things to make my life seem perfect of amazing. It's not. But The gospel makes it better. One thing the gospel teaches is to notice the little things. "By small and simple." What little miracles have occurred in your life today? This week? This month? Think about them. Write them down. Be continually noticing new ones! You will be blessed! Thank you for reading my rather long post. 

Beautiful Logan!

A Child's Prayer: The Road to My Conversion

Everyone who goes to primary learns this song. Usually the kids sing the first verse, the teachers the second, and then they both sing them together in a beautiful harmony. The first is about questioning, the second about knowledge and confirmation.

1. Heavenly Father, are you really there?

And do you hear and answer ev'ry child's prayer?

Some say that heaven is far away,

But I feel it close around me as I pray.

Heavenly Father, I remember now

Something that Jesus told disciples long ago:

"Suffer the children to come to me."

Father, in prayer I'm coming now to thee.

2. Pray, he is there;

Speak, he is list'ning.

You are his child;

His love now surrounds you.

He hears your prayer;

He loves the children.

Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of heav'n.

I have sung this song, A Child's Prayer since I've known how to sing, and it has always been a favorite. At first I sung it with the childish awe: my parents told me he's there, so I'll believe. Then I began to question, question everything I knew and believed in. Are you really there? Do you really care about me?

My testimony started with the fact that I am every person I see is special. Simple enough. I am beautiful, I am special. I am a daughter of God. And for a while that is all I really knew was true about the church. I believed and wanted to believe everything, but I still questioned and I still wondered if it was true.But I knew that I knew something. As assuredly as I knew that 2 + 2 = 4, I knew that I was a daughter of a loving Father in Heaven and I knew that everyone I met was a Prince or Princess of divine rights. I started small, yes, but I knew and that was all that mattered to me.

I knew this because I asked. Like most teenagers do I was questioning who I was, was I important, could I possibly make a difference. After I started questioning and asking in prayer I started feeling something. Every time I sung I am a Child of God, recited the Young Women Theme or heard a similar statement I felt peace. It wasn't an all at once thing, more like a sunrise experience, but sometime I just new. And that was enough.

For a while I was content with just that piece of the grand puzzle of life. I knew that if God loved me I would be fine. I began to no longer question if Heavenly Father was there, because if he was my father he had to be real. But occasionally I wondered if he heard and answered prayers, so I didn't pray. I prayed at church and in family prayers, but not alone.  I remembered the stories in the scriptures, but I really hadn't read them for myself. Well, no I read the Book of Mormon once, but with the intent to finish it, not with the intent to learn. I knew my Father was a King, but I didn't get how he could hear everyone all at once, and I didn't know anything else about the church.

Then I finished 8th grade. I would start seminary the next year. I felt like I should know something more, my testimony wasn't enough. I began spiratically reading the Book of Mormon over the summer and through the first semester of school. (my seminary was only two out of three trimesters and I had it second and third). I don't remember exactly when, in fact this whole paragraph could be a lie, it is just how I best remember it, but one day I read Moroni 10: 3-5, commonly known as Moroni's challenge:

3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

I decided I had been piggybacking on my parent's testimonies long enough. I decided to again ask. I decided to take Moroni's challenge. My intents might not have been as pure as they could have been. Maybe I was a little bit young, at least younger than Joseph Smith was when he prayed. I guess I could have had more sincerity. But I asked, because I wanted to know. I don't remember a lot, but then next few things I remember clearly. I remember kneeling down  against my bed in my messy messy room, and asking my Father in Heaven. I din't ask him to tell me that the Book of Mormon was true, I also didn't ask him to prove to me it was false. I had no bias, I just wanted to know. If it was false I would try to find truth else where, but if it was true I would never let it go. So I asked my Heavenly Father if this book I held in my hands was true. It was a short and simple prayer. 

As I got up I had a thought in my head, "Holly, you didn't need to ask. You already knew." I felt a little silly, thinking it was just my own thought. It wasn't until a couple months later, the last day of second trimester, where in seminary we were just sharing our testimonies. One boy, I still remember who it was and his name 4 years later, got up and said that he knew this church was true because he asked. He said that he got conformation by a thought saying, "you already knew." I don't think this boy knew he helped me get my testimony, but he did. I knew that thought I had after kneeling down in prayer was the Holy Ghost telling me that I knew, and what I knew was correct. The Book of Mormon is true.

Since the Book of Mormon was true I knew that Joseph Smith was indeed the Lord's Prophet here on Earth. And every prophet since was a true prophet. I began singing the second verse of A Child's Prayer, because I knew He is there. I knew he answered prayers and I knew the Church was true.

Soon seminary ended for the year, and I had to go six months without it. I stopped my daily scripture study, and was never really in a habit of daily prayer. These habits throughout high school came and went and so did my rock solid testimony. I began singing the first verse again. Heavenly Father, Are you there? I need you! Help me, please! But I wasn't willing to put in the effort to really feel comforted. I knew that I was a Child of God. I knew the Book of Mormon was true, but I guess you could say I wasn't really into it heart and soul.

I moved out and came to college. I didn't know my roommate. I knew her name was Cassidy and that she wrote an amazing blog. But as we moved in and everyday I watched her kneel down in prayer and read her scriptures, I saw a peace and a beauty in her that I wanted. I began doing the same. When I couldn't decide what institute class to take she suggested taking a couple. She will never fully understand what those couple little things did to my testimony. 

Today in one of my institute classes we talked about Pres. Uchtdorf's talk entitled Receiving a Testimony of Light and Truth. We talked about how if science and the church don't agree on something, wait around, science will catch up. That is how it was with "world's without number," and the word of wisdom. At the end of the talk he mentions that when you get a testimony it will be glorious.

I walked out of there singing A Child's Prayer. I don't know why, we hadn't talked about it or anything, but it was stuck in my head. I wasn't singing the first verse though, I was singing the second. I realized I had something glorious. Something I didn't have before. Right now I feel the strongest I ever have. I KNOW!!!! I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the only church on this planet that has the complete truth others have parts, but they are all missing something. It doesn't matter that I don't understand everything about it. I have felt confirmation that it is true, I know the key big things, so the little ones don't matter. 

Think about it, a hundred years ago we didn't know about all the galaxies (worlds without number) we do now. Maybe in the next hundred years we'll discover something else that the church broadcasts as truth, and just because we don't know it now, that doesn't make it false. Science and the rest of the world will catch up. But God knows all and is almighty, and I know I can live with him again someday. And someday my husband and I together can become Gods!

I know. There is nothing anyone can say that would take that away from me. It is GLORIOUS! My testimony is a fire inside of me. I am now a convert. That doesn't happen when you get baptized, that happens when you know! We should all strive everyday to be converted, to know!

So nothing else matters. It doesn't matter that I don't know if we'll eat food in Heaven. It doesn't matter if I have friends on other planets. It doesn't even matter that I had to wait an extra six months to go on my mission. All that matters is that this church is true, and with that, I know that everything else must fall into place somehow.

My name is Holly Dawn Palmer. I'm 19 years old, I'm an engineering student at Utah State University. I love yellow, Christmas, pretzels and lemonade. I own more jewelry than anyone should. I get excited over learning binary numbers. I am a daughter of God, and I am a Mormon.