Where Are You Christmas?

Where are you Christmas 

Why can't I find you 

Why have you gone away 

Where is the laughter 

You used to bring me 

Why can't I hear music play 

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too

This has been my attitude this season. For most of it I haven't been at home, my dorm, the hotel and the cabin weren't all decorated, and there hasn't even been that much snow, you know before Christmas day! I had finals in December instead of Madison's November. I don't even really have my old traditional hallmark Christmas movies, (or lovey-dovey mushy-mushy kissy-kissy movies that just happen to take place at Christmas time). I was away from family and I didn't have all the traditions. For a girl who is obsessed with Christmas, this year I was just not that into it.

I went to Forgotten Carols with my roommates and some of our friends, and the spirit there was simply magical. It reminded me of why I loved Christmas, the unity the fact that today, the whole world was united in celebrating, and yes while it all began with a precious baby in a humble stable, Christmas has grown to mean, happiness, selflessness, love, and giving. All things Jesus taught. I love how united everyone is in those emotions and actions this time of year. Like I said, Forgotten Carols reminded me of that. If you haven't seen it, I very much recommend it for next year. It reminds you of that love. After the carols though, I had to go back to studying for and taking finals.

One night during finals week my roommates went for a rive up to Bear Lake. The plan was to get up there before sunset and have a mini New Year's Eve, watch the sunset and just enjoy each other's company before the last final and we all leave for our homes and families. Well, we ended up getting a late start and sunset came and went during the drive. We got there and almost didn't know what to do, so we just parked on the side of the road. We sat on a blanket, and stared at the stars. Eventually we all ended up laying on top of each other. I saw my first few shooting starts. It was so quiet and peaceful. Beautiful and chill. The only noise was the occasionally passing car. Our laughter and eventually our singing. We sang little diddys, and Christmas carols. That reminded me of the beauty and peace of Christmas, and also the wonder of God's Creations.

This week my family spent the days before Christmas in a Cabin in Island Park. I love my family, and for the couple days we were just together. No phones, laptops, Netflix, or any other distractions. We played lots of games, went snowmobiling and just spent time with each other. Christmas was always magic because of my family, how well we get along with each other and the fun competition of our many favorite games and constant teasing. And yes, I got a concussion, and yes I'm all bruised up from crashing a snowmobile, but in the cabin with my family up on a snowy mountain, that was Christmas. 

Maybe I did lose Christmas for a little bit, but I found it again. Christmas is unity, its peace and beauty and it is family. It is collecting donations with Audge for Sub for Santa. It is shopping with my mom for presents for all my siblings. It is watching the joy on my nephew's face as he opens present after present with help from his parents. Christmas is magic, it's everywhere. it is in the small things!

If there is love in your heart and your mind

You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas

I know I've found you

You never fade away

The joy of Christmas

Stays here inside us

Fills each and every heart with love

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and I hope the Feelings lasts all year round!

I Can Do Hard Things.

It's Christmas time!  I love Christmas.  My family has always centered Christmas on family and Christ, but this year we were notified we wouldn't receive as many presents as we usually do, instead we would make memories. With my birthday in December too, normally I get twice the gifts, and this year I no longer get a family birthday, because my family will possibly be in 5 different places for my special day, and then nothing for Christmas, going from getting a lot last year to only one or two presents all of December this year.  Don't get me wrong, I am super excited for our new tradition of renting a cabin in Island Park for the December break, but it is a hard adjustment.  I thought especially that since all I really wanted was missionary stuff, I was justified in my wants.  I sound super shallow, I know, but changing family traditions, is hard.

Then Sunday in relief society we watched a little clip, a Mormon Message. I'm sure most of you have seen it, but if you haven't you definitely should! He is the Gift.  I know this message has struck lots of people in different ways this holiday season, but it hit me hard.  I really am okay.  I can wait for mission stuff till after I have my call, it is more practical then anyways.  And really I don't need anything that I don't have the means myself to buy.  Yes, it's fun to get presents, but headphones and church books aren't really that expensive.  Other people need things more than me.  It is more fun to by little girls a doll and little boys a race track, than to get a nineteen year old a missionary bag or new set of scriptures.  I can embrace our new holiday tradition and be okay with it. I can do hard things.

Also in Relief Society we were challenged to pick one thing over Christmas break to give up, start doing or accomplish to make us a better person.  I picked computer games, and gaming.  Yes, I know they aren't all bad, but when you get to the point I was at when you spend at least 3 hours a day swapping candy, rescuing pets, playing cards, or running a food truck all in a virtual world, I'd think we'd all agree it's gone too far.  I can do hard things. I can make it through the break by actually playing real games with people, writing in my journal (I'm lots behind), reading my scriptures, coming closer to Christ and actually talking to my friends and family.

There is one last hard thing I've accomplished this week.  I went for a run.  When I found out who my roommates were I Facebook stalked them, like any normal college student.  I was especially eager to find out about Cassidy, the one I would share a room with.  First impressions, she was super happy, loved yellow and wrote an amazing and uplifting blog, the only downside she ran.  She was on Cross County and ran a marathon over the summer, really it's fine because I had high school friends that did track and cross country, even family members did, but I don't run.  Ever.  I was worried that my roommate would get up and run every single morning and I'd feel more lazy than I already do.  Luckily Cassidy, while running occasionally, isn't that die hard about it.  A couple of my other roommates also occasionally run as well.  A couple times they invite me to go as well, and a week or two ago I almost did (I got in running clothes and everything) but then I sat in bed to charge my phone and didn't get back out.

Sunday night Kate, Tay and I stayed up late eating junk food, then for breakfast we had crepes and sparkling cider.  All day We had junk food and were kinda lazy.  I felt so sick.  They decided to to a quick ab work out that I joined them in, and then decided to do more. A run is what they suggested.  A quick two mile run to the temple and back.  I decided that if I was going to start running, a temple run was the way to begin.  I don't think they quite realized just how out of shape I was, and what they thought would be a quick 15- 20 minute run took more like half an hour.  When we got to the temple I confessed that outside of PE, which I hadn't taken since 8th grade this was like my second run ever.  It being final week, we said a roommate prayer together.  I felt the spirit as we gathered in a hug under the glow of the temple and asked our Heavenly Father for strength and comfort as we embarked on finals.  As we started back up the hill I begged my friends to leave me and actually get the workout they wanted.  They of course wouldn't.  It wan't until we got to Old Main Hill, that they took the stairs and I took the ramp.  I did it though. I ran or speed walked the whole thing.  I made it to the temple and back with my best friends at my side, cheering me on and encouraging me.

I made it! I always want to make it to the temple!
Photo Credit: Cassidy Gummersall

It reminded me of another walk I did to the temple.  Youth conference a couple years ago as we hiked and walked from "R 'Mountain'" to the Rexburg Temple.  We had prepared for that all day trek for months, walking more and eating healthy, but it was still hard for me.  The theme of the walk was "I can do hard things." I know that I can, I can do hard things.  Not by myself, but with my God and my Savior, and I can accomplish anything they would have me do.

This morning the same roommates and I made another trek to the temple.  We were dressed much differently, took a different mode of transportation, and got a different kind of wet.  As I sat in the temple with these three amazing girls by my side, I know that together we can do anything.  I look forward for each of us to get our mission calls, I can't wait to go to farewells, and then see how much we've changed at homecomings.  I eagerly await another trip to the temple, one where we go upstairs together. I can't wait until one by one we make sacred covenants and then one day we will each kneel across the alter and each get sealed to an amazing young man.  I am so blessed to have the roommates I have.  I know that we are blessed. We can do hard things, so Finals Week, bring it on!!!

We can do anything!
Photo Credit again goes to Cassidy Gummersall.