California Here I Come!

Last time I wrote, it was about a Large White Envelope. I opened it that weekend... I went home and had a lot of my close friends and family that could come over. Everyone one guessed, and a couple people got really close and guessed the missions right next door, but no one got it exactly right. I am going to the:

California Carlsbad Mission.

My heart now belongs to warm and sunny SoCal! It is honestly quite perfect for me, and I know that is where the Lord wants me, because I'm not doing this for my family, for myself, or even for the people in California. I'm leaving my life for Him, because he gave his life for me.

But this call is bittersweet. See, I talk a lot about my roommates, but that is because they instantly became my best friends! From the first time we emailed after finding out our roommates, I knew these girls were wonderful. We became the kind of friends that could tell each other anything, and I mean anything! These girls were the reason I didn't get a lot of sleep some nights and the focus of a lot of my memories. These are the girls who I became an adult with, who bonded as we were forced to face the real world by ourselves!

But in just a few short months, Kate will be in Spain, Cass in Ecuador, me in California, Tay in Argentina, and Hailey here in Utah! I've only been apart from my best friends for two LONG weeks, but I already feel so alone. I know my companions will become close, and in two years we'll be back together. I guess I just hate saying goodbye.

I also have friends in Rexburg I don't want to say goodbye to, and this isn't even the half of them. These friends I know it will be hard for me to see a lot, even on my return, which made it almost even harder to say goodbye. These are the girls I've grown up with! My friends for up to 10 long years.My friends that were there for braces, girls camp, boys..., first date, graduation, all my teenage experiences.

There is also the hardest goodbye, aside from my roommates, my friends, my hair, my home, I also have to say goodbye to my family. In 59 days I'll say goodbye to my two brothers, my sister and my brother-in-law, my parents and to the most adorable 16-month-old little boy. They are the ones who have supported me my whole entire life! And will support me for the rest of it.

I know I'm a little bit early in all of these goodbyes, I don't leave for two months (minus two days), but being away from all of these amazing people makes me realize how much I'm going to miss them all!

But what am I gaining? I'm gaining an adventure in the most amazing place in the world! (I mean it's got Legoland! What more could you want?) I'm going to have the most amazing experience ever! Hard, but worth it! Carlsbad is warm and gorgeous! I am so lucky to serve the lord, who I love so much in such a beautiful place in my native language.

So while I won't be a Hermana, a Sœur or an Imōto, I will be a Sister, Sister Palmer! And I will be exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing!

What is the point of all of this? Well, you know the saying that a missionary is someone who leaves their family for a short time so that others can be with theirs for eternity? I guess all the best things in life require a little bit of sacrifice. With all the goodbyes I'm saying, I'm setting myself up for some wonderful hellos! And I can't wait! I know that this is what I'm supposed to be doing! I know a mission is right for me! Now it is just a matter of preparing.

California here I come! :)

The Large White Envelope

Ok, So it has been a while, a long while, lets just say the post about 10 things to get you through a tough week, yeah I really needed that one. And its not over yet, but three weeks from right now I will be done with all my finals and take that load off. I should probably be doing a million things right now, but lets face it, with what just happened, I probably won't accomplish much any way!

And what did just happen? Nothing too amazing or impressive. I checked the mail, and I had mail. Well, let me rephrase that, I got a letter. Just one. And I already know that inside it is a piece of paper and a booklet. So why is it such a big deal? Because this letter decides the rest of my life in a way. Forever after this I will be able to say, I spent a year and a half in _____. Or I served my mission _____. It decides when I start school up again after my mission, which changes whether I graduate spring or fall. It changes a lot. This one envelope contains a few key pieces of information I need to know to plan the logistics of the next few years. Where I'm going, when I'm leaving, if I learn a new language, what M.T.C. and who my mission parents will be.

It is here for real this time!

It is voluntary, I actually pay for everything. I take a leave of absence from school for at least the 18 months. I will only call home twice a year, and three times total over the course of my mission. I can only email my parents, friends and family for around an hour once a week. I will work hard, and walk lots everyday. It is work. I will probably get rejected and turned away more times than I can count, maybe even that many times in a month.

So why am I so excited to put my life on hold to go to who knows where and have lots of hardship and loneliness? Because I know HE did it for me. He walked the road less traveled, He was reject, betrayed and He was killed. But He loves me and each of us so much, that He would have done it for just one of us. Because HE lives, I'm serving a mission.

I am spending the next year and a half of my life, trying so hard to get my brothers and sisters of the world to remember that. They know that their Heavenly Father, and elder brother Jesus Christ love them, or at least they did once. It is my job to remind them. To remind them that families are designed to be forever! Not just till death do us part, but for time and all eternity. That is God's plan. To me it is scary to think that this all, the whole world happened by accident, but it is comforting to think that a loving God designed it all. God knows each and everyone of us, and He loves us despite the fact that each and every day we are imperfect. He has created a plan for us to return, a plan where we had to fall away, and Jesus had to atone for us. All this so we could choose him, and come back and live in forever families.

I have been called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And I already know I love the people of my mission so much, because they are my brothers and sisters. Where I am called is the place I know I can do the most good, and I can be blessed the most. Where I am called I will forever love and think is the best place ever. Where I am called is written in the large white envelope, and I know it is where I'm supposed to be.

I Can Do Hard Things.

It's Christmas time!  I love Christmas.  My family has always centered Christmas on family and Christ, but this year we were notified we wouldn't receive as many presents as we usually do, instead we would make memories. With my birthday in December too, normally I get twice the gifts, and this year I no longer get a family birthday, because my family will possibly be in 5 different places for my special day, and then nothing for Christmas, going from getting a lot last year to only one or two presents all of December this year.  Don't get me wrong, I am super excited for our new tradition of renting a cabin in Island Park for the December break, but it is a hard adjustment.  I thought especially that since all I really wanted was missionary stuff, I was justified in my wants.  I sound super shallow, I know, but changing family traditions, is hard.

Then Sunday in relief society we watched a little clip, a Mormon Message. I'm sure most of you have seen it, but if you haven't you definitely should! He is the Gift.  I know this message has struck lots of people in different ways this holiday season, but it hit me hard.  I really am okay.  I can wait for mission stuff till after I have my call, it is more practical then anyways.  And really I don't need anything that I don't have the means myself to buy.  Yes, it's fun to get presents, but headphones and church books aren't really that expensive.  Other people need things more than me.  It is more fun to by little girls a doll and little boys a race track, than to get a nineteen year old a missionary bag or new set of scriptures.  I can embrace our new holiday tradition and be okay with it. I can do hard things.

Also in Relief Society we were challenged to pick one thing over Christmas break to give up, start doing or accomplish to make us a better person.  I picked computer games, and gaming.  Yes, I know they aren't all bad, but when you get to the point I was at when you spend at least 3 hours a day swapping candy, rescuing pets, playing cards, or running a food truck all in a virtual world, I'd think we'd all agree it's gone too far.  I can do hard things. I can make it through the break by actually playing real games with people, writing in my journal (I'm lots behind), reading my scriptures, coming closer to Christ and actually talking to my friends and family.

There is one last hard thing I've accomplished this week.  I went for a run.  When I found out who my roommates were I Facebook stalked them, like any normal college student.  I was especially eager to find out about Cassidy, the one I would share a room with.  First impressions, she was super happy, loved yellow and wrote an amazing and uplifting blog, the only downside she ran.  She was on Cross County and ran a marathon over the summer, really it's fine because I had high school friends that did track and cross country, even family members did, but I don't run.  Ever.  I was worried that my roommate would get up and run every single morning and I'd feel more lazy than I already do.  Luckily Cassidy, while running occasionally, isn't that die hard about it.  A couple of my other roommates also occasionally run as well.  A couple times they invite me to go as well, and a week or two ago I almost did (I got in running clothes and everything) but then I sat in bed to charge my phone and didn't get back out.

Sunday night Kate, Tay and I stayed up late eating junk food, then for breakfast we had crepes and sparkling cider.  All day We had junk food and were kinda lazy.  I felt so sick.  They decided to to a quick ab work out that I joined them in, and then decided to do more. A run is what they suggested.  A quick two mile run to the temple and back.  I decided that if I was going to start running, a temple run was the way to begin.  I don't think they quite realized just how out of shape I was, and what they thought would be a quick 15- 20 minute run took more like half an hour.  When we got to the temple I confessed that outside of PE, which I hadn't taken since 8th grade this was like my second run ever.  It being final week, we said a roommate prayer together.  I felt the spirit as we gathered in a hug under the glow of the temple and asked our Heavenly Father for strength and comfort as we embarked on finals.  As we started back up the hill I begged my friends to leave me and actually get the workout they wanted.  They of course wouldn't.  It wan't until we got to Old Main Hill, that they took the stairs and I took the ramp.  I did it though. I ran or speed walked the whole thing.  I made it to the temple and back with my best friends at my side, cheering me on and encouraging me.

I made it! I always want to make it to the temple!
Photo Credit: Cassidy Gummersall

It reminded me of another walk I did to the temple.  Youth conference a couple years ago as we hiked and walked from "R 'Mountain'" to the Rexburg Temple.  We had prepared for that all day trek for months, walking more and eating healthy, but it was still hard for me.  The theme of the walk was "I can do hard things." I know that I can, I can do hard things.  Not by myself, but with my God and my Savior, and I can accomplish anything they would have me do.

This morning the same roommates and I made another trek to the temple.  We were dressed much differently, took a different mode of transportation, and got a different kind of wet.  As I sat in the temple with these three amazing girls by my side, I know that together we can do anything.  I look forward for each of us to get our mission calls, I can't wait to go to farewells, and then see how much we've changed at homecomings.  I eagerly await another trip to the temple, one where we go upstairs together. I can't wait until one by one we make sacred covenants and then one day we will each kneel across the alter and each get sealed to an amazing young man.  I am so blessed to have the roommates I have.  I know that we are blessed. We can do hard things, so Finals Week, bring it on!!!

We can do anything!
Photo Credit again goes to Cassidy Gummersall.

My Future Husband

A couple weeks ago in Relief Society (the women's organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) we had a lesson on eternal marriage. Part of what we talked about was the fact that even though most of the girls in my ward are freshman we still need to be thinking about when in a couple years we are to the age we might get married. We need to thing about what we want in a husband, but we also need to prepare ourselves for him. If we're not confident in ourselves there is no way we'll be confident in a marriage. A couple people who have been married told me that they are continually working on that fact. They are trying to get past the insecurities they had before marrying their husband. Marriage, even eternal marriage, isn't a cure all. So I'm working on preparing myself for finding him, because deep down, I believe that I haven't met him yet.

Then in General Conference this weekend, someone mentioned something about preparing and praying to find our future spouse and being ready to meet them and deserving of them.

So here is what I want in a husband, or at least the key points:

1) Holds and Honors the Priesthood

Me in front of the Phoenix, Arizona Temple.

The priesthood power is God's power. He gives his worthy son's the authority to use his power in his name. This is the power that created the Earth, parted the Red Sea, healed the blind in Jerusalem and multiplied the loaves and fishes. In modern times, this power was used to translate the Book of Mormon, dedicate temples, church houses and many other buildings and landmarks, and comfort and heal people. 

My husband will be able to give me priesthood blessings. That is a wonder I have grown up with and will not give up. If he is worthy to hold the priesthood, he will also be worthy to take me to an LDS temple where I can be married and sealed to him for time and all eternity, in this life and in the next. And if he can do both, then that means he has a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

The priesthood however doesn't mean that men are more righteous or more favored than women. Even though women can't hold the priesthood, we are given other blessings and responsibilities. To gain the fullness of my blessings, I must also be worthy to enter the Lord's temples, and have a full testimony of the Church's teachings. For either of us to get all of the blessings we have to work together as a couple. So I am working to gain my testimony, so I can do my part to work towards our eternal marriage.

The day a guy uses his priesthood over me, to say he knows better than me, to receive revelation for me I haven't received for myself, or to say that he is more blessed than I am, is the day I know he is not the one for me. I know my heavenly father loves me, and I know he loves all his children equally, no matter there sex, race, age, religion or choices they have made.

2) Fun to be Around

My good friend Libby and I hiding in a box eating cotton candy and just being silly.

I have to be comfortable with my husband, I want him to be my best friend. I have to be able to tell him anything and everything, and feel like he is reciprocating and being honest with me. But at the same time, I don't want him to be too serious. He has to be able to laugh, and smile, and make me laugh and smile, even on the bad days. I want him to be flirty, and tease me but not too much and love me more than anything. He has to be willing to do the things I want to do, like cuddle on the couch and watch chick flicks or dance to country music. He should have a love for music.

This is a much harder thing to prepare yourself for, but I'm trying to let things go and not be so uptight. I love to laugh and try to find something to laugh or smile about when I'm upset or having a bad day. I'm also trying to try new things, so I'm ready to try out the things that he likes to do.

3) Strong Work Ethic

My acceptance letter to USU!

I want the guy I marry to be able to provide for my family, so I don't have to work if I don't want to while I'm raising kids, or that I could only work part time. I want him to be able to wash dishes and cook along side me, instead of just lying on the couch watching t.v. and I want him to enjoy his work, but look forward to coming home every night so he can get things done on time and not be later than necessary. I want him to be smart so I can have intelligent conversations with him, and I want him to have good goals in life and work and the church.

I'm preparing myself for him by gaining my education, so when hard times come or when I need to I can work and gain an income as well. i'm trying to be focused with my goals and work to improve myself everyday. 

4) Family Man

My "little" brother Justin and I. This picture pretty much sums up our relationship.

Like I said before I want him to be able to help out around the house, but he also has to be good with our kids. Change diapers, attend tea parties, and have tickle tackle fights would all be part of the dad description. Besides our future family though, he has to love and be a part of his family now. I want him to treat his mom like she's his queen, and me like I'm his princess. I also want him to be a part of my family, I want him to care about my siblings and I want my parents to like him.

I love the fact that I am so close to my family and I can talk to them about anything. I can't wait to add to my family by marrying into one! I hope that I get along with all of his family as well. I'm also preparing to raise my kids and keep my home a house of love.


I'm working hard to be worthy of him, and hope and pray everyday that he is doing the same for me. I can't wait to meet you, who ever you are. My future husband! 

I want to be a missionary!

      I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also know as the Mormons. In our church the young men (aged 18+) are asked to leave their friends families and comforts of their homes for 2 years and share the joy of the restored gospel and the love of our savior Jesus Christ to our brothers and sisters around the world. Young women (aged 19+) can also have the opportunity to serve a full time mission for a period of 18 months. 

Some of my cousins and I in Phoenix after the cousin leaving on her mission spoke in Church.
Photo Credit to my Aunt Natalie.

     This weekend my cousin gave a talk in church and she will depart on her mission tomorrow. This now makes five of my cousins serving full time missions. They are serving in South Africa, California, Washington State, Ohio, and Chicago (although she is going to Mexico first to the Spanish Missionary Training Center). On both sides I am suspected and encouraged to be the next one out on a mission, and if not the next one, then one of the next couple, and I am so excited!

     I know I am meant to be a missionary. I have received confirmation of this fact multiple times and in multiple ways, and lately I've been wondering why? Why am I supposed to be a missionary, and what exactly makes a good missionary?

     Music always speaks to me, an two song in particular touch me when it comes to missionaries. Hymn 249, Called to Serve and Page 169 in the Children's Songbook, I Hope They Call Me on a Mission.

"Called to serve Him, heav'nly King of glory,

Chosen e'er to witness for his name,

Far and wide we tell the Father's story,

Far and wide his love proclaim.

"Onward, ever onward, as we glory in his name;

Onward, ever onward, as we glory in his name;

Forward, pressing forward, as a triumph song we sing.

God our strength will be; press forward ever,

Called to serve our King.

"Called to know the richness of his blessing--

Sons and daughters, children of a King--

Glad of heart, his holy name confessing,

Praises unto him we bring."

     I know I am a daughter of my Heavenly father and his love for me has helped me through so much. His love for me gives me hope to move on through trials and adds to my joy everyday of my life. I have a testimony and a love for this truth and the truth that I can and will live with my family forever. One of my deepest desires and hopes is that I can help bring this fact to my brothers and sisters of the world who do not have a knowledge of the joy of the eternities.

"I hope they call me on a mission

When I have grown a foot or two.

I hope by then I will be ready

To teach and preach and work as missionaries do.

"I hope that I can share the gospel

With those who want to know the truth.

I want to be a missionary

And serve and help the Lord while I am in my youth."

     I taught 4 year-olds at church for 6 months and my love for the children's hymns rekindled, so while I may not be growing a foot of two before I leave on my mission, I hope they call me. I hope I'm ready and I hope that people will be ready for me to talk to them. I am so greatful for the opportunity to give a year and a half of my life to strengthen my testimony and help plant and water the testimonies of others from all around the world. 

     People always ask me if I know where I want to go, and honestly I don't. The lord is no respecter of persons. He loves all of his children equally and I know he will call me to where ever I am best able to serve his sons and daughters. I have seen this as my brother and other missionaries have come home and shared stories about how much they love the people they helped and served with and how they know that where ever they went was in fact the perfect place for them. I know where ever I get called will be the perfect place for me.

     Many stones and rocks have been thrown in my way, but I am on the path to serve a mission. I have a testimony of this restored gospel and of my Heavenly Father and Savior's love for me. I am a Mormon, I know it, I love it and I live it!